In the movie “The War of the Roses,” two people who once loved each other enough to get married and have kids together, go through a divorce that is so aggressive, vindictive, and destructive that the movie ends with both of them crashing down from a chandelier, and simultaneously hitting the hard floor of the home they once happily shared.
If would be nice to be able to say that the Roses’ movie is a complete fiction. But at Raleigh Law Firm, we are realists. We have seen so many high-conflict divorce in Raleigh, NC that we know for a fact that in many ways the film isn’t really that much of a stretch.
While divorces rarely end in a truly “amicable” way (no two people ever just skip away from a failed marriage without some sort of sorrow or pain), it seems that there are now more and more marriages that end with incredible and ever-escalating amounts of conflict. Take a look at this list of issues that seem to inflame a marital breakup, and see if any of these may resonate in your own life, or even in your own current relationship.
TOP ISSUES THAT CREATE HIGH-CONFLICT DIVORCES
● A cheating spouse, who may have been unfaithful for years, betraying you with multiple partners, and even with someone in your intimate circle.
● A deceptive partner, who constantly lies about things both big and small, to the point where you doubt whether your spouse ever told you the truth at all.
● A gaslighting spouse, which is a phenomenon that takes deception up to a level where you may begin to doubt things you know for certain are true, because your partner twists logic and attacks you as the deceptive source.
● An emotionally abusive spouse, who find psychological weaknesses and attacks them, often relentlessly, to the point where you may feel you deserve bad treatment or that no one would want you if you left.
● A financially manipulative spouse, who controls the money in your relationship, so that you cannot support yourself if you wanted to leave.
● A physical threatening or abusive spouse, who uses violence or the threat of violence to dominate situations, invoking feelings in you of powerlessness, fear, and the inability to escape unharmed.
● A manipulative spouse, who constantly uses other people and your weak areas against you, threatening to reveal things, or harm your relationship with others, if you refuse to do what he/she wants.
● A vindictive spouse, who is so hurt or insulted by the fact that you want to leave the relationship, that he/she begins a series of incredibly frustrating, harmful, even dangerous actions, that not only make life worse for you, but also for your children.
● An addictive spouse, who may be a decent person when sober, but becomes a danger and a liability when intoxicated.
● A gambling spouse, who creates great financial liability through an uncontrollable gambling addiction.
● A bipolar, or manic-depressive spouse, who, if not treated or not taking medications, exhibits dangerous and risky behavior that can harm your relationship and often severely damages your finances.
● A narcissist, who is at first charming and interesting, and then slowly reveals himself/herself as someone who doesn’t care about others, often harms people, and always chooses his/her own benefit over someone else’s wellbeing.
● A psychopath, who literally seems to live in another reality, and harms people with absolutely no sense of conscience, never admits his/her wrongdoing, and will do things to others that are so far beyond what normal people do that it’s often hard to convince others about the dangerous nature of this person.
YOU CAN FEEL TRAPPED IN A DAMAGING RELATIONSHIP —
BUT YOU AREN'T
One of the most difficult realizations you can have as a married person is to realize that your relationship is doing more damage to you than good.And that it is highly likely that your relationship will never stop damaging you until you leave.
We decided long ago at Raleigh Law Center that one of our focuses would be on helping spouses -- of both genders -- work their way out of high-conflict, high-stress, damaging relationships. The feelings of powerlessness, and injustice, that go along with being trapped in or trying to end a relationship with a damaging partner can be intense. When you choose to end a relationship with a difficult spouse, this often intensifies his/her dysfunctional behavior, even heightening it, or taking it to a dangerous level.
It is at just this time -- when you want out, or are trying to get fully out of a relationship, or even when you are out but trying to negotiate settlements -- that you are most in need of excellent resources. These resources include family, friends, a strong social support network -- and caring, highly experienced, understanding, and never-intimidated legal representation.
Our founder, Evonne S. Hopkins, is a board certified family law specialist, and has years of experience in high-conflict divorces, custody battles, and alimony and child support cases. What distinguishes Raleigh Law Center from other family law firms is that we don’t deal in just high volume, quick service cases. We take on all forms of family cases, especially those that are complicated, highly emotional, and where one spouse has experienced or is continuing to experience any of the kind of damaging behaviors listed above.
It can sound like a cliché to say that a business cares about its clients, but at Raleigh Law Center, we truly do. We listen, we follow up on every possible avenue that can make your case stronger, and we pay attention and stay with you throughout your legal process.
Are you involved in a High-Conflict Divorce in Raleigh, NC?
CALL RALEIGH LAW TO EXPERIENCE A DIFFERENT KIND OF FAMILY LAW
We are always available to hear the details of your case and offer our help in getting you into a situation you both want and deserve. We are conveniently located at 9380 Falls of the Neuse Road, in Raleigh, and we serve the entire Raleigh-Durham and Research Triangle area.
It’s never too soon or too late to get experienced legal advice so that you truly understand your options and rights as a spouse in North Carolina. And you should never, ever feel trapped in a marriage you no longer want, especially out of fear of your spouse’s reaction to you seeking a healthier, happier existence for yourself, and often for your children as well.
Call us when you need us. At Raleigh Law Center, we’re always ready to listen.